Things daughters need from their dads - Part 2

Last week we discussed the first two things of seven that daughters need from their dads, (1) Your unconditional love, and (2) Your time.  If you missed it, go back and check it out.  These are what I believe are the next two things that daughters need from their dads...


3)  Your high moral character and integrity - It is vitally important that your daughter sees you live a life beyond reproach.  She must know what you stand for and that you will stick to it even in the face of challenge and adversity...that you won't waver.  This not only gives her security, but also gives her courage to face the battles she is sure to have.  That can be very difficult in a world that constantly encourages us to do what makes us happy no matter who it hurts.

It is imperative that you teach her right from wrong, good from evil, and do your best each day to be an example of that in your home and at work.  If you are a Christian that means that you follow and obey the Bible, the inspired Word of God and teach her to do the same.  You must teach her to always strive to do what is right and make good choices even when no one else is watching...that is integrity.  You must teach her that her word is her bond and that she must keep her word, even when it hurts (short of taking back something she said she would do that would be harmful to her or that would not be pleasing to God). 

4)  Your love and affection for their mom - If you are married to her mother (50% of you will be), one of the most important things you can do as a father is to love, I mean really love her mother.

Now I understand that if you are divorced (the other 50% of you), that might not be possible, but at least you must never speak poorly of her mom.  It affects how she sees herself as a human being and as a person of worth and value, since from her perspective "mom" is the most important and special person in her life along with you.

If you are married to her mom, it is vital that she see how much you love her mom, that you are willing to serve her, that you treat her well, that you speak to her in love and with respect, and that you live with her in an understanding way.  As Christians we are taught that if we do not honor and live with our wives in an understanding way, that even our prayers are hindered!  This is found in the New Testament of the Bible (1 Peter 3:7).  We are also taught to love our wives as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for it (died for it)...WOW! (Ephesians 5:25)  Will your daughter be able to say that you love her mother in that way?


Coming next week:  5) Your guidance and instruction, 6) Your protection, and 7) Be the man you want her to marry...


(And for those women that happen to find or stumble onto this blog, we welcome your thoughts and words of wisdom.  We need to hear things from your perspective too...so be bold and blog on!)

Things daughters need from their dads - Part 1

Guys, if you want to know the kind of impact a father can have on his daughter, whether good or bad, take a look at this video.  It is based on real life events of this well known actress, who is desperately crying out to her father for love.  Now wipe your eyes and go tell your daughter how much you love her!

Have you ever given any thought to what your daughter needs from you?  Relating to daughters doesn't come natural for us guys.  I would like to offer these as just a few things she needs, and other than "unconditional love", they are not necessarily in any kind of order.  Because I am a Christian, these will be from a Christian perspective; however, if you are of another faith or maybe even no faith, I'm sure you will find these principles still apply.  I will be sharing more over the weeks to come.

1)  Your unconditional love -One of the most precious gifts you can ever receive from God is the gift of children.  And although we guys often have a hard time understanding much less relating to the tender hearts of our daughters, they are something to treasure.  She needs to know that when she is being emotional or irrational, or being a "drama queen", or is upset with you, that you still love her...unconditionally.  Let her know that you will love her no matter what she does or how bad her choices in life might be or have been.  Tell her you love her often and show it by spending (and this is my next point)...time with them!

2)  Your time - One of the most important things we dads need to do more often is spend time with our daughter doing what she wants to do.  Oftentimes, we do things with her that we want to do and drag her along.  Not that that is a bad thing and she should know the things that are important and enjoyable to us, but sometimes we just need to ask her what it is she wants to do.  Trust me, I have played "house", played with Barbies, or you name it, more times than I could ever count.  I mean these aren't things manly men do...are they?  Your daughter doesn't care and isn't thinking that these are things dads don't do.  She just wants to be with you and spend time with you getting to know you.  This is another way she knows you care for her.

And guys, when you are spending time with her, listen to her (okay, I'm speaking to myself on that one).  She needs to feel safe sharing her thoughts and opinions with you.  She needs to know that you won't yell at her or judge her when she doesn't see it your way.  Also, spending time together gives her the opportunity to know what you stand for and to learn about moral character and integrity.  This leads to Part 2 of "Things daughters need from their dads"...

Coming next week:  3) Your high moral character and integrity, and 4) Your love and affection for their mom.

(And for those women that happen to find or stumble onto this blog, we welcome your thoughts and words of wisdom.  We need to hear things from your perspective too...so be bold and blog on!)

The Beginning of a Never Ending Journey...

One of the most rewarding things a man can ever experience is being the daddy of a daughter. It is life changing, and every man who is blessed enough to have one knows what I mean. In no way would I ever diminish the value of having a son, which I have...he is an awesome gift too. But for whatever reason only God knows, I have been graced with 5 daughters...daddy's little girls, and not so little girls. Girls ranging in age from 29 down to 5. Now, does that make me an expert? I think not. Trust me, I have messed it up so many times. I think I have learned more about daddying from my failures than any other way. (And with the help of my wife who watches how I respond to our girls and then in her own loving way, shows me how I could have done it better. I love her for that.)

But from each and every failure, I am learning more about what it means to be a better daddy and how to love my daughters more. You never quite have it down. I continue to learn each and every day the unique and very special relationship of a daddy and his daughter and that is why this blog was created...to help men with the daddying of their daughters. What I will do is share some of my life with you. I hope you will do the same with me.

I don't have any special titles behind my name or any kind of degree in parenting, but one thing I do know is that if you learn how to daddy your daughter, your life will be filled with a richness and joy beyond anything you ever could imagine. Some of the things I will share in this blog are so practical and some come from a life of experiencing the heartaches and joys of just being there for them. The relationship with a daddy and his daughter is very special and is something to treasure for a lifetime.

Guys, I'm telling you...there is more drama in my home than I ever thought possible and yet in a strange kind of way, I LOVE IT! They are precious to me and I am still learning one day at a time how to handle them. And believe me when I say, I don't have it down yet.

My goal is to post something new and fresh once each week, but please cut me some slack on this because I, like most of you, am busy living life, loving and serving my wife, loving, teaching and disciplining my children, and developing a full time career outside of this blog.

I hope you will take this to heart and join me in this journey together as we change the relationships of daddies and their daughters all over this nation...to make an eternal difference one daddy and one daughter at a time.