Things daughters need from their dads - Part 3

Last week we discussed the third and fourth of seven things that daughters need from their dads, (3) Your high moral character and integrity, and (4) Your love and affection for their mom.  If you missed it, go back and check it out.  Here are the final 3 things that daughters need from their dads and as I said before, this list is not all inclusive...just a place to start.

5)  Your guidance and instruction - She needs to hear from you.  What you think about things.  How you feel about religion and spiritual things.  How you feel about politics.  These bring up great opportunities to guide her and instruct her in the way she should go with her life.  If you don't teach her how you feel and what you believe in she will get it from her friends or "the world" and believe me, generally speaking that is not a good thing.  Just as our heavenly Father desires to guide and instruct all of His children, she too needs that from you.  How she sees God has a lot to do with how she sees you.  You are the most important man in her life and her first love.  In order for her to have a healthy relationship with the heavenly Father she must have a healthy relationship with you.

You may say that you have nothing wise to offer her or don't know what to say, but I promise you have more life experiences than she does and you should share them with her...of course, it must be age appropriate.  Encourage her to be all she can be.  It seems that a lot of men may know how to do that with their sons because they can relate better with them, but when it comes to their daughters they have mixed feelings of what they want their daughters to become.  Let her know she can go to the moon and back if she wants.  She can be a doctor or a lawyer if she wants.  She can be a stay at home mom called to raising a family.

6)  Your protection - Your daughter needs to know that you are capable of protecting her from the big bad world (through her eyes).  Not that you are the biggest baddest dude out there, but that she knows she can count on you to rescue her when she is in trouble.  She needs to know that you are always on her side.  She needs to feel safe with you.  You need to be her hero. 

Author Dr. Ken Canfield, PH.D. says "We typically think of protection as defending our daughters' physical safety, but there are also emotional, moral, and spiritual dangers out there.  If we're fulfilling our role, our girls will have a sense of security even when we can't personally be there to protect them."

"First, be aware and guard against the many forces that could threaten her.  There are people who could try to lure her into a destructive lifestyle, or to follow a world-view that doesn't match with your values.  Not to mention the violence and sex on TV, the Internet, in music and movies.  You have to be aware and ready to take appropriate action.

Second, prepare her to handle dangerous situations.  We can't always be there, but teaching our daughters skills is another way of protecting them.  We can talk through scenarios and help them think through appropriate response--whether it's calling 9-1-1 or changing a flat tire.  Or conversations like, "What happens when you lie to a friend?"  Or, "What do you suppose a teenage boy is thinking about when your friend wears an outfit like that?"  We should prepare them to handle an uncomfortable dating situation, or an adult who does something inappropriate.  We need to teach them how to say "no".

And the last one is simply prayer.  The thought of protecting our daughters should be humbling, because we can't always be with them, and we can't anticipate every danger.  But we can seek God's protection daily for our daughters."

7)  Be the man you want her to marry - Do you have a gentle side, are you kind and caring?  Are you loving?  Does she have your respect?  Do you place more emphasis on the needs of others than yourselves?  Or does everything revolve around you and the things you want?  Believe me, your daughter is watching you.  And maybe even more importantly as I alluded to above, she is watching how you treat your wife, whether she is her mom or not.

Be honest.  Be trustworthy and faithful.  Be a man she can depend on.  Be diligent and hardworking...willing to sacrifice that his family may have what they need.  Not necessarily all that they want or desire, but all that they need.   Be even tempered.  Be compassionate, honest, and courageous.  As I mentioned above, protect her and be a man of integrity.

Well dads, that's all I can think of for now.  These were just a few of the things that came to mind when I think of raising my daughters, but there is so much more.  This journey never ends.  I truly hope you will share your words of wisdom, experiences, and hope with us.  As men, we need each other.  It is a war zone out there and there is an enemy who prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for who he may devour.  He wants to devour our marriages, our daughters (and sons), and our very lives!  We as men must fight if we are to take back our families and be the leader of our homes!

(And for those women that happen to find or stumble onto this blog, we welcome your thoughts and words of wisdom.  We need to hear things from your perspective too...so be bold and blog on!)