Sex, a touchy subject...no pun intended.

Sex can be one of the most awkward topics you will ever discuss with your daughter, but it doesn't have to be.  For this week, I am assuming she has already been taught "the birds and the bees".  I would guess that most men leave that up to the mom to deal with...I did.  With the hyper-sensual world our daughters are exposed to on a daily basis it is becoming increasingly more important to have that first talk well before the age of 10.  If we don't share this information with our daughters and sons, they will pick it up elsewhere, and probably in a distorted or even perverted fashion.  There is a really great book my wife used called "The Wonderful Way Babies Are Made" by Larry Christenson.  It is kid-friendly and helps you teach your children about families, babies, and sexual intimacy from a joyful Christian perspective.


As a dad, it is vital that we learn how to create an open line of communication with our daughters about sex, and at an early enough age that it is something they are willing to openly discuss with you the older they get.  Guys, that is not an easy thing to accomplish.  You must look for opportunities to have these times of sharing.  Also, you really need to ask God for wisdom and seek knowledge based on what is age appropriate for your daughter.  A kind of litmus test for me personally was when it became evident that my daughters' interest in boys was beyond the normal boy-girl friendships of earlier childhood.  I started by letting my daughters know that one way boys are different is they are generally physically attracted to them first, whereas most girls are more interested in whether or not a guy has a good personality.  Obviously this is not in all cases, but is a good general rule. 


It is good to tell your daughter that the way they dress can heavily influence the kind of guy that is interested in them.  If they dress in clothes that overly emphasize their figures or clothes that reveal too much skin or are in any way seductive, they are going to attract the kind of guy that wants one thing and one thing only...you can guess what that might be.  Our daughters need to understand that boys and men are sight stimulated.  I remember telling my older daughters when they were in their late teens that even "50 year old" men are turned on by them if they dress immodestly.  That absolutely grossed them out and helped them start the process of being more modest in how they dressed.  We have to teach them they have a responsibility to dress modestly, not only for their own self respect, but in order to get the proper kind of respect from the opposite sex.


Our daughters need us as their fathers, to tell them that their body is a precious gift from God and is only to be given to the man they marry.  I know that may sound old fashioned to some of you guys, but do you really want your daughter sleeping with any guy they say they love, but are not committed to for life?  So many girls today are suffering from depression, and it is often related to sexual promiscuity.  Teach them to save themselves for their husbands.  If it happens to already be too late for your daughter, then teach her it is never to late to start over and remain pure till the one she marries comes along.


Guys, we have to teach our daughters that the topic of sex is a "never go there" subject with a boy.  What I tell them is that if he brings up the subject, they need to make it clear that this conversation is over before it even begins.  In my books that is a huge "red flag".  That may be the perfect time for her to make the decision to move on and out of that relationship.  I know that may sound harsh and unrealistic, but it is the standard I want her to live by...NO SEX TILL MARRIAGE!  If we don't have these really tough conversations with our daughters, how will they know what to do or say when a boy brings them up?


By the way, I do have an awesome son that is 21 years old, but I still have tried to teach all of my daughters that most boys and young men have one thing on the brain, if you know what I mean.  It might make your daughter a little cynical about boys and young men, but I believe it is a dad's job to protect his daughter and guard her heart for the man she will one day marry.


This makes a great case for a no dating policy in your home, but every home is different and you have to lead as you feel is appropriate for your home.  We will discuss that next week in more detail.


In the Bible, it says that the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for whom he can devour.  Don't let it be your daughter!  We need to do everything we can as men to not take a passive position in raising our daughters.  It is NOT your wife's job alone to raise her to be a godly daughter.  You are the leader of the home, so do your job and lead!