Hey, news alert...A teen's brain is not fully developed! Due to the development of magnetic resonance imaging (MRI), great strides have been made in the study of the brain. It was once thought that the brain was fully formed by the end of childhood, but research has shown that there is profound growth of the brain during adolescence.
Gee, I bet you didn't need science to figure that one out. Just talk to your teenage daughter and try to reason with her sometime....good luck! The greatest changes to her brain occur in adolescence. These include the parts responsible for impulse-control, judgment, decision-making, planning, organization and other functions like emotion. This area of the brain does not reach full maturity until around age 25...WOW! That explains a lot around my home!
Have you every tried in good conscience to explain to your daughter (of any age) what the reasons are for your decision in matters affecting her? No matter how hard you try to logically and rationally explain yourself, she just doesn’t seem to get it. Of course, in wanting her to better understand us, we continue to explain more and more and more, thinking that if we could say it just a little bit different, she will agree with our decision. BUT, she doesn’t which often times leads to arguments in other areas that are way off topic from where you started. This becomes a never ending cycle, digging one’s self deeper and deeper into the abyss of frustration! Don’t keep trying to get her “buy in”. Offer a brief explanation if you need to, but let your decision stand. “Let your ‘Yes’ be yes, and your ‘No’, no, or you will be condemned.” (from the Bible, James 5:12.) That about explains it all!
Regardless of how smart she is or how great a kid she is, your daughter doesn't have the maturity of an adult. Sometimes she will be unreasonable. She will be impulsive. She won’t always use good judgment. It is so easy for her to get into trouble, but you can help keep her out of it. Again, be involved in all aspects of her life. My daughters think I am overprotective at times and I am okay with that. At least I have the hope of knowing that when those brains of theirs reach maturity, they will realize just how right I was all along!
Fresh Starts
11 years ago
My daughter is not even 2 and I say the same things. :) So many times I want my kids to act more like an adult. The problem is that when they are adults I know I will wish they were still kids.
ReplyDeleteI thought you were talking about wives for a good part of your lesson. Especially in the paragraph about explaining things, being logical and rational, them not getting it after changing your wording, leading to arguments that have nothing to do with the topic. :-)
ReplyDeleteYeah, I think it's a gender thing sometimes.
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